3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
not ubering you a puppy
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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