he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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