I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?