I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
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He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey