i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.