I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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