You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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