Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
