He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
