belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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