He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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