Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
