I bet he comes in French.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
