Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
