Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
