i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
