so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
