I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
