I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
