We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Vodka?
Forever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
