she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
