A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was born a porn star she said
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
