so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
