she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
