Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
