im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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