sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
