Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
