It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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