I am midnight drunk by noon
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
