My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
