weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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