i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
