No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
