I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
