I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
