i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
