u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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