I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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