This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
