i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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