how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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