At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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