CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
