she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
