Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
