So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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