i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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