You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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