Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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