Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
