My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize