Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
