last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize