I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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