He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
