just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
