went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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