I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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