do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
