think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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