This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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