so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
