; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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