about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
