Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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