is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
